🌸 The Wound I Didn’t Know I Had: Healing Female Relationships and Finding Connection

The Slow Living Retreat: A Portal Into Presence

I recently returned from a slow living retreat on the west side of Michigan—and it gave me something I didn’t even know I needed.

I’ve been on a self-love journey for a while now. But this past week, I uncovered something deeper—something I hadn’t yet given myself permission to name.

All the networking and events I’ve been attending lately created space to meet some incredible women. When I heard about this retreat being hosted in Douglas, just outside of Saugatuck, I felt a gentle nudge to go. So I did. I spent four days and three nights in a beautiful home with 12 women—most of whom I’d never met before, and three I’d only seen once or twice.

That may not sound like a big deal to some—but to my past self, that was huge. The version of me from a few years ago would’ve found a reason to stay small, quiet, reserved. But that’s not who I am anymore. So I woke up early each morning, sat in the cozy shared living room, and read.

And I was completely device-free the entire time. 📵

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What I Learned from Logging Off

Surprisingly, I didn’t miss my phone much at all. I realized I’m often on it to check the time, research something, or read. But being disconnected gave me clarity. And in that clarity, I discovered something unexpected:

✨ I have sisterhood wounds.

Not something I had even thought of or considered before. But in conversations with this incredibly supportive group of women, it became undeniable.

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What Are Sisterhood Wounds?

Sisterhood wounds are often the result of betrayal, judgment, competition, exclusion, or a lack of support—especially from other women. These wounds can form in female friendships, family relationships, work environments, and broader societal messaging.

They don’t always show up in obvious ways. Often, they manifest as subtle feelings of mistrust, disconnection, or unworthiness in female spaces.

Once I saw the signs, I couldn’t unsee them. Here’s how they show up:

🤍 Struggling to trust women, expecting judgment or competition

🤍 Difficulty forming deep, supportive female friendships

🤍 Feeling “less than” or overly self-critical around other women

🤍 Avoiding women’s spaces, calling them draining or saying “I’m just not a girls’ girl”

🤍 Feeling alone or misunderstood—even with other women

🤍 Comparing, shrinking, or people-pleasing in female-dominated spaces

I related to every single one of these.

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Tracing It Back: The First Wound

Then I started asking myself, where did this come from?

I went back to my first female relationship—my mom.

⚠️ Trigger warning for those who knew her well—this is my truth, and it may be uncomfortable to read.

My mom passed away in August 2024. We had a complex, often painful relationship. My parents divorced when I was eight, and it was loud, messy, and traumatic. Afterward, my dad was granted physical custody—and while I now understand the reasoning as an adult, my 8-year-old self only knew one thing:

She didn’t fight for us.

She didn’t choose me.

And that belief—true or not—became my narrative.

Even when we were supposed to have time with her, she wouldn’t always show up. My sister and I were those kids waiting on the steps, holding hope, only to be disappointed. It wasn’t until she remarried that our visits became more consistent.

And that’s when the survival patterns took root.

I became hyper-independent. The eldest daughter. The protector. The perfectionist. The people-pleaser. The one who always had it together, even when I didn’t.

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Now That I Know… How Do I Heal?

The first step is awareness.

Now that I can name this wound, I can tend to it. 🌱

Here’s the healing strategy I’ve been leaning into—and if you recognize these wounds in yourself, maybe it will support you too:

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🛠️ My Sisterhood Healing Strategy:

1. Acknowledge without shame

I’m not broken—I adapted. My brain and heart did what they needed to survive.

2. Practice gentle self-talk

“Of course you feel this way. You were protecting yourself.”

3. Create safe connection

I’m being intentional with the women I surround myself with. I’m reaching out, slowly building trust.

4. Reparent my inner child

I talk to the 8-year-old version of me. I remind her she is wanted, worthy, and never too much.

5. Embody softness

I’m choosing flow. I seek out nourishing, slow-paced experiences and allow my body to lead.

6. Rewrite the narrative

I affirm daily:

💬 I trust women.

💬 I attract aligned sisterhood.

💬 I am safe in community.

7. Celebrate small breakthroughs

Even sending a voice message or sharing a vulnerable story is a win.

8. Heal through the body

These wounds live in more than just the mind. I’m exploring somatic practices—breathwork, EFT tapping, meditative touch—to remind my body it’s safe to soften.

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This is My Season of Healing 🌿

I didn’t expect this retreat to unearth something so deep. But it did. And now I get to decide how I want to move forward.

Not guarded. Not alone. But with softness, intention, and sisterhood—one step at a time.